will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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