i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
