you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
