i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
