Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
