We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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