Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
