it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
