i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
