Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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