Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
