We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
