..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
