Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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