I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
