I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
