Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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