He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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