I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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