i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
