you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
