Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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