i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
