I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
