Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
