$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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