I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
