Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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