Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
