yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Naked. naked and bneed help.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
