OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You ruined the universe
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
