Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
