never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
