you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
