I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
