Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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