So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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