I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
