We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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