I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
As shirtless as possible
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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