Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
