he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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