I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
