and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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