no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
