I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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