.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
