no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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