my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
