I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
